Sue Johnson:
"Argentine tango is very difficult. It's a nerd dance. And for the first three years I sort of thought I was learning it. And then one night a stranger came. And I started dancing with him. And he broke all the rules. You are not supposed to do this. He stopped in the middle of ... And asked: 'What are you doing?' I said ... This is incredibly rude. I said: 'I am dancing Argentine tango with you.' He said: 'No, you're not.' I said: 'Ah, I am sorry?' He said: 'You're not. You're in your head. Predicting what you think I am gonna ask you to do and doing the steps in your head.' I said: ' Ahh.' He said: 'You're not with me.' I said: 'Ohh.' He said: 'Forget all the steps in your head. Just feel the movement in my body. Feel the momentum. Listen to the music and the beat. Feel it. Let the dance do you.' ... So tango changed that night into something totally different and magical and I became aware of what was going on on a whole different level. People with close relationships are more able to attune in that way. They tune into the relational drama that's going on in the relationship. Other people do what I was doing. They are in their head predicting stuff. ... You say to people: 'Why did you get married?' and some people say things like: ' I don't know. Well we both like canoeing. And my other girlfriend didn't like canoeing. And I wanted to canoe every weekend. And she would canoe. So I think it was time for getting married.' It's like it's a deal. Right. And they are not tuned into the relational aspect."
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