Alexander:
>One reason fitness and bodybuilding becomes a turning point in life for men is because it is the first time for many men that they begin to receive spontaneous praise and recognition from others. It’s the first time a lot of young men get feedback from the world around them that they are high in some form of status hierarchy. You basically have this journey that requires you to do something hard on a daily basis, consistently. It’s not an easy win - which is what makes it a meaningful win. This also seems to be the kind of thing that shifts personality. Research on personality traits show them to be stable over the lifespan, but what does change them are big and extended events: new jobs, going into higher education, or big changes like marriage and divorce. We also know that motivation and success builds on itself. People who have no wins, ever, can sometimes just stop trying. Conversely, when people get the feedback that their effort produces results they want then they can become more agentic. They can feel like “I can do it” more, so they try to do it more, and accumulate more future wins. A lot of young men haven’t had the opportunity to do much yet that would gain recognition from others. That’s basically the lot in life for most young men - being low in whatever given status hierarchy they move through. They aren’t bosses at work, have little money, not very good at very many skills, no degrees beyond high school, never the most interesting person in the room because they haven’t gone through many interesting live events. This is normal, but it can be frustrating. One reason we may see so much crime in the 16-25 age cohort (called the “age-crime curve”) is status-seeking behavior. You should be accumulating wins across your life. These are things others recognize you for. They don’t need to be large or insurmountable goals, but they do need to be large enough that others see it and give you some kind of recognition. Becoming good at skills or hobbies, so that when you do them others see it and say, “Good job that’s impressive.” Having formal accomplishments like degrees, or titles, which is not to say that everyone needs to go get a PhD (you could become a journeyman carpenter or get some promotions in the military for example).<
>One reason fitness and bodybuilding becomes a turning point in life for men is because it is the first time for many men that they begin to receive spontaneous praise and recognition from others. It’s the first time a lot of young men get feedback from the world around them that they are high in some form of status hierarchy. You basically have this journey that requires you to do something hard on a daily basis, consistently. It’s not an easy win - which is what makes it a meaningful win. This also seems to be the kind of thing that shifts personality. Research on personality traits show them to be stable over the lifespan, but what does change them are big and extended events: new jobs, going into higher education, or big changes like marriage and divorce. We also know that motivation and success builds on itself. People who have no wins, ever, can sometimes just stop trying. Conversely, when people get the feedback that their effort produces results they want then they can become more agentic. They can feel like “I can do it” more, so they try to do it more, and accumulate more future wins. A lot of young men haven’t had the opportunity to do much yet that would gain recognition from others. That’s basically the lot in life for most young men - being low in whatever given status hierarchy they move through. They aren’t bosses at work, have little money, not very good at very many skills, no degrees beyond high school, never the most interesting person in the room because they haven’t gone through many interesting live events. This is normal, but it can be frustrating. One reason we may see so much crime in the 16-25 age cohort (called the “age-crime curve”) is status-seeking behavior. You should be accumulating wins across your life. These are things others recognize you for. They don’t need to be large or insurmountable goals, but they do need to be large enough that others see it and give you some kind of recognition. Becoming good at skills or hobbies, so that when you do them others see it and say, “Good job that’s impressive.” Having formal accomplishments like degrees, or titles, which is not to say that everyone needs to go get a PhD (you could become a journeyman carpenter or get some promotions in the military for example).<
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