farnam street:
"When pushed on, we push back. The harder we push others, the harder they push back."
"It can take a while to understand that not everyone who pushes back does so in the moment. Sometimes, they hit back in the moment, but more often than not, they become negatively coiled, patiently waiting for an opportunity to spring."
"Pushing back takes many forms — from a raised voice or a strong boundary to more subtle forms like withholding information or not helping when you could."
"When having a tough conversation, take the approach you’re going to be in a relationship with this person for the next 20 years. This changes your approach from one of ‘getting what you want’ to ‘we’re in this together and let’s figure it out.’ "
"Win the decade, not the moment. Not only are win-lose behaviors not sustainable, but they also trigger a negative action-response in others that ensures time works against you, not for you."
"The only type of relationship that survives across time is one that is win-win."
"Compounding relationships allow for speed, trust, and knowing the other person has your back."
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