Gian C. Gonzaga et al. (2006)
"Two schools of thought converge on the notion that romantic
love and sexual desire are independent relational processes. Relationship
researchers have long grappled with the question of how
romantic love and sexual desire emerge and evolve over the course
of intimate relationships (Aron & Aron, 1998; Hatfield, 1988; Hatfield & Rapson, 1993; Hatfield & Walster, 1978; S. S. Hendrick
& Hendrick, 1992; R. J. Sternberg, 1986). Within this tradition,
researchers differentiate between companionate love (or
romantic love, in our terminology), which involves deep feelings
of commitment, intimacy, and connection, and passionate love (or
sexual desire, in our terminology), which involves powerful feelings
of attraction, desire, passion, and infatuation (Diamond, 2003;
Hatfield, 1988; Hatfield & Rapson, 1993; Reis & Shaver, 1988).
Within this framework, romantic love fulfills a commitment
role, sustaining long-term bonds by promoting intimacy, connection,
and the formation of mutual long-term plans (e.g., Aron &
Aron, 1998; Diamond, 2003; Dion & Dion, 1973; Ellis & Malamuth,
2000; Hatfield & Rapson, 1993; S. S. Hendrick & Hendrick,
1992; R. J. Sternberg, 1986). In line with this thesis, romantic love
relates to an interest in being close to a partner (Aron & Aron,
1998; Hatfield, 1988; Hatfield & Walster, 1978) and encourages
self-disclosure (Aron, Norman, Aron, McKenna, & Heyman,
2000; S. S. Hendrick, Hendrick, & Adler, 1988; Wieselquist,
Rusbult, Foster, & Agnew, 1999). Moreover, the feeling of falling
in love involves a rapid expansion of the self to include the partner
(Aron & Aron, 1997), and perceptions of increasing love across
the duration of a relationship predict later relationship continuation
(Sprecher, 1999).
In contrast, sexual desire—and related feelings of passion and
infatuation—fulfill an initiation role, motivating sexual interest,
proximity seeking, and initial contact. By motivating proximity
seeking, sexual desire promotes contact and allows commitment to
grow (e.g., Hazan & Zeifman, 1994, 1999; Zeifman & Hazan,
1997). In line with this thesis, passion— or sexual desire—tends to
peak early in a relationship (Aron & Aron, 1991; Berscheid, 1985;
Regan, 1998; R. J. Sternberg, 1986), and behaviors motivated by
sexual desire, such as sexual contact or certain kinds of touch, are
less frequent in more established relationships (Sprecher & Regan,
1998).
Evolutionary and attachment-related accounts of relationships
have similar claims about romantic love and sexual desire (e.g.,
Diamond, 2003; Fisher, 1998; Hazan & Shaver, 1987). Romantic
love is thought to be part of a pair-bonding system, which keeps
partners together in long-term relationships that are oriented toward
raising vulnerable, dependent offspring to the age of viability
(Buss, 1988, 1994; Buss & Schmitt, 1993; Fisher, 1998; Kenrick &
Trost, 1997; Simpson, 1994). As a part of the mating system and
with the primary goal of reproduction, sexual desire responds to
cues of reproductive readiness, such as physical markers of fertility
or status (Buss, 1994).
This evolutionary, attachment-related approach is best encapsulated
in Diamond’s (2003, 2004) biobehavioral model of romantic
love and sexual desire. Diamond argued that romantic love and
sexual desire serve different functions, namely to promote pair
bonding and sexual behavior, respectively. In support of these
claims, Diamond reviewed evidence showing that the subjective
experiences of romantic love and sexual desire are functionally
independent: Individuals can feel romantic love but not sexual
desire, or sexual desire but not romantic love, toward another
person. Romantic love and sexual desire, Diamond claimed, also
appear to be mediated by different physiological processes: oxytocin
(OT) and endogenous opioids in the case of romantic love,
and gonadal estrogens and androgens in the case of sexual desire. ..."
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