The Problem With Hyper-Agreeable Men:

"No matter how hard I tried to please her, keep the peace, avoid conflict, and hide my needs, she was still frequently moody, angry, critical, and sexually unavailable."

Robert Glover

"a breed of men who have been conditioned to seek the approval of others. ... Nice Guys avoid conflict like the plague and will go to great lengths to avoid upsetting anyone. ... Nice guys are especially concerned about pleasing women ... Over the last years, I have encountered countless frustrated and resentful Nice Guys ..."

"Jason described his life as 'perfect' - except for one major problem - his sex life. It had been several months since he and his wife Heather had been sexual, and it didn't look like anything was going to change soon."

"Nice guys are wimps."

"The problem is, once they have repressed all their life energy, there is little about them to get anyone's attention or turn them on.

Women consistently tell me that even though they may be initially drawn to a Nice Guy's pleasing demeanor, over time they find it difficult to get excited about having sex with him. ... There is just very little about the Nice Guy persona to flip a switch or arouse a prospective partner."

"Most folks - Nice Guys included - do not consciously take responsibility for creating the kind of life they want. Most people just accept where they are, and act as if they have little power in shaping an exciting, productive, and fulfilling life.

When I talk with Nice Guys about taking charge of their lives, most have a difficult time wrapping their brain around the concept. It just doesn't fit their paradigm that they can make choices and act to make these choices a reality."

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• "Chronic approval-seeking backfires. If you erase your own needs to keep others happy, you come across as inauthentic and low-energy. That kills attraction.

• Conflict avoidance isn’t peace. It just stores up resentment—yours and theirs. Women don’t respect a man who’s always folding to avoid tension.

• Sexual polarity requires edge. Desire thrives on difference, energy, risk. “Hyper-agreeable” men sand down every sharp corner until there’s nothing left to spark.

• Responsibility is key. Glover’s critique isn’t just about relationships but about life: if you don’t actively shape your world, you drift and blame others for the emptiness.

• Being “nice” ≠ being good. There’s a difference between kindness (which is strong, chosen, clear) and “niceness” (which is submissive, manipulative, hidden neediness).

So the core message: hyper-agreeableness is a strategy that feels safe but actually destroys intimacy and vitality. Real change means owning your desires, being willing to disappoint people, and taking responsibility for building a life you actually want."