Attraction is not a choice:

grok:

"Attraction indeed is often not considered a choice. Here's a breakdown of why this might be:

Biological and Evolutionary Factors: Attraction can be influenced by biological drives aimed at reproduction and survival. Evolutionary psychology suggests that humans are naturally drawn to traits that signify health, fertility, and genetic compatibility. These attractions are largely subconscious and not something one consciously decides.

Psychological Influences: From a psychological perspective, early life experiences, cultural background, and personal history shape what one finds attractive. These influences create a complex web of preferences that aren't easily altered by choice. For instance, attachment styles formed in childhood can impact adult attractions.

Neurological Basis: Attraction activates specific areas in the brain related to reward and pleasure, such as the ventral tegmental area which releases dopamine. This chemical reaction doesn't happen by choice but rather as a response to stimuli that the brain interprets as rewarding or desirable.

Cultural and Social Norms: While culture can shape what is considered attractive, individual reactions to these norms are not entirely controllable. You might recognize societal standards of beauty but still find yourself attracted to qualities or individuals outside of these norms due to personal taste or other subconscious factors.

Fluid vs. Fixed Attractions: Some theories suggest that sexual orientation or specific attractions might not be as fixed as once thought, but even the fluidity aspect isn't something one chooses. It might change over time due to various personal developments, but again, not through choice.

Ethical and Social Considerations: While one might not choose their attractions, how one acts on them is a choice. This distinction is important in discussions about consent, respect, and ethical behavior in relationships.

In summary, while individuals can choose how to act on their attractions, the initial feeling of attraction itself is generally seen as something that happens automatically, influenced by a mix of biological, psychological, and social factors. This doesn't mean one can't work on broadening their perspective or understanding of attraction, but the initial spark is usually not within conscious control."