"The psychologist Mark Leary and his colleagues have proposed that humans have a “sociometer.” This is a psychological mechanism that evolved to maintain self-esteem and social belonging. Everyone has a sociometer, and its purpose is to unconsciously monitor the social environment for signs of acceptance or rejection.
If our sociometer detects disapproval, you react with feelings that get us to correct our behavior and restore our esteem. Thus, you have feelings of foolishness, awkwardness, inadequacy, embarrassment, humiliation, and so on. These are unpleasant feelings. The experience of them or the prospect of potentially feeling them lead us to act in ways that increase our social acceptance and uphold our standing among our peers.
It's not quite the same thing as status. The sociometer is focused on communion, on getting along with others.
Then there’s the “hierometer.” This is a related but distinct psychological self-regulatory mechanism that tracks status. The hierometer’s function is to monitor our status and help us to navigate status hierarchies.
The hierometer is about agency (getting ahead), as opposed to communion (getting along).
This brings us to an interesting puzzle: Sometimes people will conceal their high-status accomplishments. People will give up signaling status in order to enhance feelings of belonging. Sometimes we want to avoid the envy of others, and downplay our achievements in order to better get along with the group. This isn’t the case for narcissists, though, who generally have no issue boasting about their achievements at the expense of feelings of belonging. Narcissists have an overactive hierometer and an underactive sociometer.
The hierometer tracks status, which is indexed by self-esteem and narcissism. It motivates us to be assertive to obtain social esteem. The goal is to boost our status.
The sociometer tracks inclusion, or belonging. This is indexed mostly by self-esteem, which regulates our affiliative behavior. The goal is to get along with others."
"people will sometimes conceal high status identities in order to better get along with others. This is expressed by humility, and the goal is to avoid envy and increase social acceptance."
"Communion is about getting along with others. Being understanding, cooperative, helpful, and so on. Agency is about getting ahead of others. Being assertive, confrontational, direct, imposing, and so on. People want to fit in and stand out. These two concepts capture these motivations."
"When we evaluate others, we implicitly ask ourselves, “Will this person help or hurt me?” and “Is this person capable of carrying out their goals?” We wonder how communal and agentic they are."
"A 2021 study found that frequent insults directed at men include: worthless, weak, poor, pussy, dumb, useless, scared. These attack their competence. And shithead, controlling, asshole, self-absorbed, and liar. These attack their moral character. For women, insults included worthless, poor, needy, disgusting, and annoying (attacking their competence). And slut, skank, gold digger, and shallow (attacking their moral character)."
[Siehe auch: Die hierarchische Sicht der Dinge]
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