Schlüsselfragen / Key Questions:

Was willst Du denn erkennen?

Was sind die Schlüsselfragen in Deinem Leben?

-----

What do you actually want to recognize?

What are the key questions in your life?

"So wild, einfach so wild!"

"ungezähmt, unvorhersehbar, intensiv, lebendig, vielleicht chaotisch, möglicherweise auch erschöpfend oder überfordernd.

Die Wiederholung deutet darauf hin, dass:

1. Der Begriff für dich emotional geladen ist - er trägt mehr als nur Bedeutung, er trägt ein Gefühl
2. Du nach Worten ringst - dein analytischer Geist kann die Erfahrung nicht sofort in differenzierte Sprache übersetzen
3. Es gibt eine gewisse Unverarbeitetheit - "wild" könnte sowohl Bewunderung als auch Erschöpfung oder Ambivalenz enthalten

Interessant wäre: Wenn du dieses "wild" weiter entpackst - welche konkreten Verhaltensweisen, Muster oder Dynamiken liegen darunter? Ist es Emotionalität? Unberechenbarkeit? Energie? Grenzenlosigkeit?

Ist dieses "Wilde" etwas, das du bewunderst, das dich anzieht - oder ist es etwas, das dich erschöpfst, weil es deine Ressourcen ständig beansprucht?"

Musik / Music:

Bei der Musik geht es darum,
dass diese Musik
tatsächlich viel ausdrückt.

Die Musik erschöpft sich rasch,
die nur wenig beinhaltet,
die nur wenig ausdrückt.

-----

Music is about expression—
about music that truly says a lot and carries a lot.

Music that contains little,
that expresses little,
is quickly exhausted.

Die Nüchternheit / Sobriety:

Wenn der nüchterne Realismus
Doch letztlich ganz falsch liegt?

Wenn Weihnachten, zum Beispiel,
Mehr anhaftet als eine nüchterne
Erklärung liefern kann?

Ein Überschuss an Bedeutung?
Ein Überschuss an Sinn, an Wert?

--

Die Welt der Unendlichkeit,
Des Darüberhinaus,
Erreichbar, betretbar,
In unseren besseren Stunden.

-----


What if sober realism
Ultimately turns out to be entirely wrong?

What if Christmas, for example,
Carries more with it than a sober
Explanation can provide?

A surplus of meaning?
A surplus of sense, of value?

--

The world of infinity,
Of the beyond,
Reachable, accessible,
In our better hours.

Aphorisms and Poems:

For the next few days—possibly the coming week, given the Christmas season—I’ll be posting aphorisms and poems here again.

Elevation:

A peculiar liftedness

Out of the everyday world,

Out of the everyday mood.

A distinct state of being grasped

by certain insights,

in certain actions,

through certain experiences,

in memories,

in conversations,

by some music.

Without a Face:

The world turned cold,
Became a place,
A nameless thing,
Without a face.

Von den Musen geküsst / Kissed by the Muses:

Von den Musen geküsst,
Diese Person,
Schuf sie tolle Dinge
schon.

-----

Kissed by the Muses’ grace,
This one, in time and place,
Was shaping, even then,
Great works again and again.

Das Sonderbare an einer Sache / The Peculiarity of a Thing:

Das Sonderbare an einer Sache, das dieser Sache aber doch erst den Reiz gibt.

----

The peculiarity of a thing—yet the very quality that lends it its charm.

Freedom:

From time to time a human being steps out of the world of mere regularities.

Der Einzelne / The Individual:

Der Glaube, dass der einzelne Mensch einmalig, unaustauschbar

und nicht ersetzbar sein kann.

Ein Glaube vielleicht, das heißt nicht etwas, das auf äußerer Beobachtung

fußt oder fußen kann.

-----

The belief that the individual human being can be unique, irreplaceable,

and not substitutable.

Perhaps a belief—that is, not something grounded in, or capable of being grounded in, external observation.

Grundfrage Ehe / Fundamental Question of Marriage:

Ist es möglich, die nächsten zwanzig bis dreißig Jahre mit dieser Person gut zu kooperieren?

-----

Is it possible to cooperate well with this person over the next twenty to thirty years?

A Culture Drift:

https://twitter.com/thewernickfiles/status/2001722366796402765?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Clutter:

@reiver ⊼ (Charles) hat repostet

Massimo

@Rainmaker1973

·

18. Dez.

New research shows clutter dramatically spikes women’s cortisol—while men’s stress barely budges. Household clutter extends far beyond mere aesthetics—it's deeply intertwined with stress physiology and cognitive burden, impacting women in particular. Drawing from studies on dual-income married couples, therapist Elizabeth Earnshaw explains that women who view their homes as cluttered often see their cortisol levels rise throughout the day, unlike those who feel at ease, whose levels naturally decline. This heightened effect in women stems largely from bearing the disproportionate invisible mental load—the constant cycle of noticing, recalling, planning, and orchestrating household tasks. Earnshaw suggests a realistic, three-part approach to reducing the stress–clutter spiral. First, “shedding” involves intentionally minimizing possessions, including doing the emotional work required to let things go, in order to create more mental and physical space. Second, “preventing” focuses on systems: giving items clear “homes” so that decisions about where things go become automatic rather than mentally taxing. This may start with listing common types of clutter and designing dedicated spots for each (for example, a single, consistent place for receipts). Third, “adapting” asks families to accept that some clutter is inevitable in busy seasons of life and to concentrate on emotional regulation and co-regulation with partners, keeping stress and cortisol lower by adjusting expectations rather than striving for a perpetually picture-perfect home. [Earnshaw, E., "Clutter, Cortisol, and Mental Load". Psychology Today, 2024]

Die Weihnachtsnacht:

Heilig diese Stunden,
Immer neu empfunden,
Den Zauber dieser Nacht,
Weihnacht, die Dich sacht,
Ins Gestern führt,
Ins Morgen,
Die Welt
Voll' Freud' und Sorgen
- Bejahung überall.

Weiterhandeln, Weiterleben,
Vorwärtskämpfen, Vorwärtsstreben.

Das Langfristige:

Sachen bauen, die Jahre,
die gegebenenfalls
viele Jahrzehnte
halten können.

-----

Ich las einmal bei Naval Ravikant in etwa:

"Play Long-Term Games With Long-Term People"

Erinnerung:

Wie ein Mensch war:
In seinen besten Momenten.
Oder auch:
Wie eine Beziehung war:
In ihren besten Momenten.

-----

Damals:

Gemeinsam wir Zwei
Gingen damals durch den Schnee
Vorfreude, Sehnen,
Und kein Weh

Die Themenverfehlung:

Immer wieder quillt hier
eine totale Themenverfehlung
hervor.

Das Höhere:

Die Unendlichkeit spüren.
Wenn auch nur ein paar Momente lang.
Das Höhere kennen lernen.

Entspannung:

Tiefe Entspannung.
Wo ist sie zu finden? Wo zu holen?
In der Musik?

The Shared Variance Amongst the Measures of Individual Differences and Trait EI

The Shared Variance Amongst the Measures of Individual Differences and Trait EI: A Meta-Meta-Analytic Comparison

Bogdan S. Zadorozhny, K. V. Petrides, Jinyan Yang, Dimitri van der Linden

One of the central questions in differential psychology is the extent to which its various aspects are interconnected. Past research has revealed significant correlations amongst widely different constructs including emotional intelligence, the Big Five personality traits, the Dark Triad, cognitive intelligence, and creativity, amongst others. However, few studies have investigated these interrelations concurrently with the aim of constructing a unified model. The present meta-meta-analysis was performed using exclusively meta-analytic correlational data for constructs belonging to the cognitive intelligence, trait and ability emotional intelligence (EI), personality, and miscellaneous factor categories. Relationships amongst these constructs were investigated through a series of Exploratory Factor Analyses, Exploratory Structural Equation Modelling, and Confirmatory Factor Analyses. The results indicate that the latent factor formed by the overlap between the various components of differential psychology is closely linked with trait EI and appears to represent positive psychosocial adjustment or overall well-balanced functioning of the individual.

Some Quotes:

farnam street:

Author Jonathan Safran Foer on happiness:

“I think and think and think, I've thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it.”

**

Benjamin Franklin with a dose of timeless wisdom:

“Many a man thinks he is buying pleasure, when he is really selling himself a slave to it.”

High standards and perfectionism:

• Internal pressure to do things thoroughly, correctly, meaningfully
• Frustration when unable to reach "particularly deep concentration where everything truly valuable emerges"
• Can't tolerate mediocrity in themselves

Misunderstanding:

David Pinsof Dec 15 I spend a lot of time with intellectuals—writers, thinkers, social scientists, etc. If I had to sum up their worldview in one sentence, I could hardly do better than this one: Everything that’s wrong in the world is caused by misunderstanding. Political polarization? Misunderstanding. If only people could get over their primitive “tribalism” and “confirmation bias,” they could have reasonable discourse and work together to solve humanity’s problems. Misinformation? Misunderstanding. If only people knew how to “vaccinate” themselves against the “virus” of fake news, they’d stop being such gullible idiots and vote for the Democrats. Bigotry? Misunderstanding. If only people realized that members of other ethnic groups were normal, decent human beings like them, there would be no bigotry. Stereotypes? Misunderstanding. If only people knew that stereotypes were false and pernicious, there would be no stereotypes—and no bigotry. War? Misunderstanding. If only people knew that war is pointless and evil, a product of bigotry and misinformation, there would be world peace. Capitalism? False consciousness. If only people knew how much greedy corporations were exploiting them, the workers of the world would unite. Wikipedia’s list of 265 cognitive biases? 265 misunderstandings! If only people joined the rationality movement and memorized these biases in elementary school, humans would conquer the galaxy. Ineffective altruism? Misunderstanding. If only people knew that slacktivism and virtue signaling accomplish nothing, they’d become utilitarians and donate their money to shrimp welfare or preventing the AI apocalypse. Unhappiness? Misunderstanding. If only people learned some positive psychology, they’d stop comparing themselves to sexier people on Instagram and start meditating and gratitude journaling. Ahh, it’s the perfect story. If all the world’s problems are caused by misunderstanding, then that makes intellectuals—the people whose job it is to understand things—the most important people ever. Just by doing what they’re doing, they’re saving the world. Wow. Intellectuals. Saving the world. Pretty cool thing for intellectuals to believe. ----- Happiness is bullshit. You want to know why you’re reading my depressing blog instead of meditating or gratitude journaling? Because you don’t actually want to be happy. The pursuit of happiness is just a story we tell ourselves. It’s a way to cover up the ugly things we’re actually pursuing, like status-enhancing opinions, moral superiority, high-status offspring, resources that others are deprived of, and control of the coercive apparatus of the state. ---- A lot of intellectuals confuse our stated motives with our actual motives. They confuse our words with our deeds. It’s like mistaking Starbucks’ mission statement—“inspiring and nurturing the human spirit, one person, one cup, one neighborhood at a time”—with its goal of maximizing profit. ----- If you’re an intellectual with ambitions to save the world, I think you ought to ask yourself the following questions: “What if humans are savvy animals who generally understand what they have an incentive to understand?” “What if stupidity is usually strategic?” “What if capitalists, bigots, warmongers, virtue signalers, and political extremists understand what they’re doing all too well?” “What if advice is mostly bullshit?” “What if the primary cause of humanity’s problems is not bad beliefs, but bad motives?” While reflecting on these questions, you may arrive at an unpleasant truth: there’s nothing you can do. The world doesn’t want to be saved. ----- In the end, the only misunderstanding is that there's been a misunderstanding.

Lockeres Plaudern:

"Lockeres Plaudern funktioniert, wenn man Fehler, Banalitäten, Halbwissen von sich geben kann, ohne beurteilt zu werden.

-----

Versus:

• Überlegteres Formulieren
• Substanziellere Beiträge
• Mehr Anstrengung notwendig, interessant zu sein
• Gesteigerte Vorsicht, nicht inkompetent zu wirken

• Gespräche werden ernster
• Menschen überlegen mehr, bevor sie etwas sagen
• Lockerer Small Talk fällt schwerer
• Rückzug oder aber das gezielte Suchen von tieferen Gesprächen"

Äußere und Innere Wirklichkeit / Inner and Outer Reality:

Das Wissen um Regel- und Gesetzmäßigkeiten, nach denen sich Gegenstände verändern und das Wissen um innere Wünsche und Sehnsuchte. Die Innere Wahrnehmung dieser Wünsche und Sehnsüchte und die Äußere Wahrnehmung der Veränderung von Objekten.

-----

The knowledge of the rules and laws according to which objects change, and the knowledge of inner desires and longings. The inner perception of these desires and longings, and the outer perception of the change of objects.

Poems:

I’ve written roughly a thousand poems over the past three or four years.

Some of the poems are philosophical, others humorous; some express sympathy and warmth toward people in my life; and a few have a distinctly lyrical quality.

The Upside of Stress - Chapter 3 - Part 2/2:

“One of the effects of the biological stress response is to make you more open to your experience. You feel things more, and your ability to notice expands. You are more sensitive to other people and to your environment. This increased openness is helpful, but can be overwhelming.”

“One particularly impressive study conducted through the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, in Palo Alto, California, followed more than one thousand adults for ten years. At the beginning of the study, researchers asked the participants about how they dealt with stress. Those who reported trying to avoid stress were more likely to become depressed over the following decade. They also experienced increasing conflict at work and at home, and more negative outcomes, such as being fired or getting divorced. Importantly, avoiding stress predicted the increase in depression, conflict, and negative events above and beyond any symptoms or difficulties reported at the beginning of the study. Wherever a participant started in life, the tendency to avoid stress made things worse over the next decade.

Psychologists call this vicious cycle stress generation. It’s the ironic consequence of trying to avoid stress: You end up creating more sources of stress while depleting the resources that should be supporting you. As the stress piles up, you become increasingly overwhelmed and isolated, and therefore even more likely to rely on avoidant coping strategies, like trying to steer clear of stressful situations or to escape your feelings with self-destructive distractions.”

“As psychologists Richard Ryan, Veronika Huta, and Edward Deci write in The Exploration of Happiness, “The more directly one aims to maximize pleasure and avoid pain, the more likely one is to produce instead a life bereft of depth, meaning, and community.”

“Although avoiding stress can seem like a rational strategy, it almost always backfires. One of the benefits of embracing stress is that you find the strength to pursue goals and endure experiences that are difficult but meaningful.”

“Missed opportunities: What events, experiences, activities, roles, or other opportunities have you turned down or cut out of your life because you thought they were (or would be) too stressful?

Has your life been enhanced or narrowed by these choices? What is the cost to you of missing these opportunities?"

“Avoidant coping: What activities, substances, or other “escapes” do you turn to when you want to avoid, get rid of, or numb thoughts and feelings related to the stress in your life?

Are these coping strategies a good use of your time, energy, and life? Do they enhance meaning or help you grow? Are any of these coping strategies self-destructive?"

“Limiting your future: Is there anything you would like to do, experience, accept, or change, if only you were not afraid of the stress it might bring into your life?

How would your life be enhanced by pursuing any of these possibilities? What is the cost to you of not allowing yourself to pursue them?"

“The biggest problem with trying to avoid stress is how it changes the way we view our lives, and ourselves. Anything in life that causes stress starts to look like a problem. If you experience stress at work, you think there’s something wrong with your job. If you experience stress in your marriage, you think there’s something wrong with your relationship. If you experience stress as a parent, you think there’s something wrong with your parenting (or your kids). If trying to make a change is stressful, you think there’s something wrong with your goal.”

-----

grok:

"The core message is that attempting to control, eliminate, or avoid stress is not only ineffective in the long run—it actively makes life worse by narrowing it, depleting resources, and generating more stress.

1. Biological irony of stress The stress response heightens sensitivity and openness to experience (you feel and notice more). This increased awareness is evolutionarily useful, but when we treat it as something to shut down, we fight against our own biology.
2. Long-term consequences of avoidance (the landmark VA study) A 10-year study of over 1,000 adults showed that people who reported trying to avoid stress at the start:
   • Became significantly more depressed over the decade
   • Experienced rising conflict at work and home
   • Had more negative life events (fired, divorced, etc.) Crucially, avoidance predicted these outcomes even after controlling for initial levels of depression or life difficulties. In other words, wherever you start, a habit of stress-avoidance reliably makes the future worse.
3. The vicious cycle: “Stress generation” Trying to dodge stress → creates new sources of stress → depletes your emotional and social resources → leaves you more overwhelmed and isolated → makes you even more likely to rely on avoidance → repeats and worsens. Psychologists Ryan, Huta, and Deci summarize it bluntly: “The more directly one aims to maximize pleasure and avoid pain, the more likely one is to produce instead a life bereft of depth, meaning, and community.”
4. How avoidance distorts perception When your main goal is “no stress,” anything that produces stress starts to look like a threat or a flaw:
   • Stress at work → “My job is bad”
   • Stress in marriage → “My relationship is broken”
   • Stress in parenting → “I’m a bad parent” or “My kids are the problem”
   • Stress while pursuing a goal → “This goal must not be right for me” Over time, life itself begins to look like a minefield of problems to be avoided rather than a landscape of meaningful challenges.
5. The alternative: Embracing stress Accepting stress as part of meaningful pursuit gives you the resilience to engage with difficult but valuable goals, relationships, roles, and experiences.

Reflective Questions Posed in the Text (condensed)

• What opportunities, roles, or experiences have you already rejected or abandoned because they felt “too stressful”? Has your life become richer or narrower as a result?
• What substances, activities, or distractions do you use to numb or escape stressful feelings? Are they life-enhancing or self-destructive?
• What would you do, change, or accept if fear of stress weren’t holding you back? What is the current cost of not doing it?

Bottom-line takeaway

Avoiding stress feels rational in the moment but almost always backfires. It doesn’t reduce suffering—it multiplies it while shrinking your life. Embracing stress, on the other hand, is what allows a deeper, wider, and more meaningful existence."

Tiefe Projekte:

Tiefe Projekte geben dem Leben den meisten Inhalt.

Der Leichte und Einfache Pfad:

Leichter und einfacher ist es, in meinem Fall, hier beim Aphoristischen Posten zu verweilen. Schwieriger und fordernder ist es, zu tieferen Projekten überzugehen.

Good Reasons For Bad Feelings:

Ich würde hier so gern ein Review von "Good Reasons For Bad Feelings" (Randolph Nesse) posten.

Steckenpferde:

"Da gab es Dinge, in meinem Leben, die mir so viel Freude bereiteten."

Manche Hobbies, Leidenschaften, Steckenpferde können in Vergessenheit geraten.

Manche Freuden sind mehr und mehr in Vergessenheit geraten. Warum auch immer.

Fertility Drop:

Sam Bowman (via Charles / @reiver):

"Between 1960–78, South Korea’s fertility rate fell from 6 children per woman to 3. Comparable drops took 96 years in the UK and 82 in the US."