Sonntag, 7. Dezember 2025

The Special Something:

“It’s all around us, yet goes mostly unnoticed or unappreciated until it is missing ...” 

Stuart Brown

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"a distinctive, often indefinable quality, characteristic, or feeling that makes a person, object, or experience exceptional, unique, or particularly appealing. It is a colloquial way of acknowledging a particular essence that is difficult to describe with specific words."

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"Play is the vital essence of life. It is what makes life lively."

Donnerstag, 4. Dezember 2025

Fähigkeiten / Skills:

Ich möchte richtig gut werden, in dem, was ich so mache. Da ist schon noch eine gewisse Distanz zu dem Punkt, wo ich gern' wäre, erkennbar und vorhanden.

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I want to become really good at what I do. There’s still a noticeable gap between where I am now and where I’d like to be.

Mittwoch, 3. Dezember 2025

Five Technical Books:

I think you should read at least five technical books a year, cover to cover.

The Upside of Stress - How to Change Your Mind About Stress - Chapter 1:

"As we’ve seen, a mindset is a belief that biases how you think, feel, and act. It’s like a filter that you see everything through. Not every belief can become a mindset. Some beliefs simply aren’t that important. You might believe that chocolate is better than vanilla, that it’s rude to ask somebody’s age, and that the world is round, not flat. Those beliefs, no matter how strongly you hold them, have relatively little consequence for how you think about your life."

"The beliefs that become mindsets transcend preferences, learned facts, or intellectual opinions. They are core beliefs that reflect your philosophy of life. A mindset is usually based on a theory about how the world works. For example, that the world is getting less safe, that money will make you happy, that everything happens for a reason, or that people cannot change. All of these beliefs have the potential to shape how you interpret experiences and make decisions. When a mindset gets activated—by a memory, a situation you find yourself in, or a remark someone makes—it sets off a cascade of thoughts, emotions, and goals that shape how you respond to life. This, in turn, can influence long-term outcomes, including health, happiness, and even longevity."

"People with a negative view of aging are more likely to view poor health as inevitable. Because they feel less capable of maintaining or improving their health as they age, they invest less time and energy in their future well-being. In contrast, people with a positive attitude toward growing older engage in more health-promoting behaviors, like exercising regularly and following their doctor’s advice."

"
how you think about aging affects health and longevity not through some mystical power of positive thinking but by influencing your goals and choices."

"
It turns out that how you think about stress is also one of those core beliefs that can affect your health, happiness, and success."

"
According to the American Psychological Association’s Stress in America survey, most people perceive their own stress levels as unhealthy. Even those who report relatively little stress believe that the ideal level of stress is below whatever they are currently experiencing. Over the years, people’s perceptions of a healthy level of stress have actually gone down; when the American Psychological Association started its annual stress survey in 2007, people perceived a moderate level of stress as ideal. Now, survey participants perceive that same moderate level of stress as unhealthy."

"
n 2013, I conducted a survey of CEOs, vice presidents, and general managers who were participating in Stanford University’s Executive Leadership Development program, and 51 percent said they did their best work while under stress."

"
Stress mindsets are powerful because they affect not just how you think but also how you act. When you view stress as harmful, it is something to be avoided. Feeling stressed becomes a signal to try to escape or reduce the stress. And indeed, people who endorse a stress-is-harmful mindset are more likely to say that they cope with stress by trying to avoid it."

"
When you face difficulties head-on, instead of trying to avoid or deny them, you build your resources for dealing with stressful experiences. You become more confident in your ability to handle life’s challenges."

"
Instead of viewing stress as predominantly harmful, they now saw both the good and the bad in stress."

"
When I asked Walton what his favorite mindset intervention was, he immediately pointed to one that he conducted on a group of freshmen at an Ivy League school. In this study, Walton delivered a simple message: If you feel like you don’t belong, you aren’t alone. Most people feel that way in a new environment. Over time, this will change. Walton selected social belonging as his focus because he knew that the sense of not belonging—at school, at a workplace, or in any community that matters to you—is widespread. Feeling like you don’t belong can change how you interpret everything you experience. Conversations, setbacks, misunderstandings—almost anything can be viewed as evidence that, in fact, you don’t belong."

"
I think this is one of the most promising aspects of mindset science. Once an idea takes root, you don’t have to work so hard at it. It’s not a conscious strategy you need to employ or an inner debate you need to have every day. After an initial introduction to a new mindset, it can take hold and flourish."

"
If you are used to viewing stress as the enemy, you may find it difficult and disorienting to choose to see the good in it."

"
The first step toward changing your mind about stress is to notice how your current mindset shows up in everyday life. We usually don’t see the effect of a mindset because we are too identified with the beliefs behind it. The mindset doesn’t feel like a choice that we make; it feels like an accurate assessment of how the world works. Even if you are fully aware of what you think about stress, you probably don’t realize how that belief affects your thoughts, emotions, and actions. I call this “mindset blindness.” The solution is to practice mindset mindfulness—by paying attention to how your current stress mindset operates in your life."

"
To get to know your stress mindset, start to notice how you think and talk about stress. Because a mindset is like a filter that colors every experience, you’ll probably discover that you have a standard way of thinking and talking about stress. What do you say out loud or think to yourself? (My own stressed-out mantra, before I started to seriously rethink stress, was “This is too much!”) Notice how thinking about stress in your habitual way makes you feel. Does it motivate you? Inspire you? Exhaust you? Paralyze you? How does it make you feel about yourself or your life?"

"O
nce you start looking for stress mindsets, you’ll see them everywhere: in the media, in how other people talk about their lives, even in advertisements that use the promise of stress reduction to sell everything from shampoo to office furniture."

Introduction:

"If telling people that stress is killing them is a bad strategy for public health, it wouldn’t be the first time a popular health promotion strategy backfired."

"the central premise of this book: that stress can be good for you"

"this is a practical guide to getting better at living with stress."

"Seeing the upside of stress is not about deciding whether stress is either all good or all bad. It’s about how choosing to see the good in stress can help you meet the challenges in your life."

"
We’ll look at academic stress, work stress, family stress, health stress, financial stress, and social stress, as well as the challenges of dealing with anxiety, depression, loss, and trauma—things that might be best described as suffering, but that come up whenever I invite people to think about the stress in their own lives."

"So as we begin this journey together, I offer this conception of stress: Stress is what arises when something you care about is at stake. This definition also highlights an important truth about stress: Stress and meaning are inextricably linked. You don’t stress out about things you don’t care about, and you can’t create a meaningful life without experiencing some stress."

"the word has become a catchall term for anything we don’t want to experience and everything that’s wrong with the world."

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Claude:


McGonigal challenges the dominant cultural narrative that stress is inherently harmful, arguing instead that stress arises when something you care about is at stake — making stress and meaning inseparably linked. You cannot create a meaningful life without experiencing stress.

What makes a belief a mindset:
Not just any belief qualifies — it must be a core belief reflecting your philosophy of life
- Based on theories about how the world works
- Acts as a filter that shapes how you interpret experiences and make decisions
- Triggers cascades of thoughts, emotions, and goals when activated

Example from aging research: People with positive views of aging engage in more health-promoting behaviors and live longer — not through mystical thinking, but by influencing their goals and choices. Negative views make poor health seem inevitable, reducing investment in well-being.

Cultural shift toward stress avoidance:
Most Americans perceive their stress levels as unhealthy
The perceived "ideal" stress level has steadily declined since 2007
Yet 51% of executives report doing their best work under stress

Two fundamentally different orientations:
Stress-is-harmful mindset → Leads to avoidance, which paradoxically reduces your capacity to handle stress
Stress-is-enhancing mindset → Leads to engagement, building resources and confidence

Key insight: Once a new mindset takes root, it operates automatically — you don't need constant conscious effort.

McGonigal's three-step process:
Mindset Mindfulness — Notice your "mindset blindness" by observing how you think and talk about stress (your habitual mantras, emotional responses, self-perceptions)
Recognition — See stress mindsets everywhere once you start looking: media, conversations, advertising
Reframing — Shift from seeing stress as purely harmful to recognizing both benefits and costs

Important caveat: This isn't toxic positivity. It's about acknowledging that stress can be genuinely difficult while also recognizing it can enhance performance, growth, and meaning.

The book promises practical guidance for living better with stress across all domains: work, family, health, finances, trauma, and suffering.

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grok:

Core Thesis of the Chapter

Chapter 1 introduces the idea that how you think about stress — your stress mindset — is one essential predictor of how stress affects your health, happiness, performance, and longevity. Rather than stress itself being inherently good or bad, your belief about whether stress is harmful or helpful shapes how you interpret and respond to it, which in turn changes the actual outcomes in your life.

What Is a Mindset?

  • A mindset is not just any belief (e.g., “chocolate > vanilla” or “the Earth is round”).
  • It is a core belief about how the world works that acts like a filter coloring everything you think, feel, and do.
  • When a mindset is activated, it triggers a cascade of thoughts → emotions → goals → actions → long-term consequences.

Classic Example: The Aging Mindset

  • People who believe “aging = decline and frailty” invest less in their health, interpret every ache as proof of inevitable decay, and actually die sooner (even after controlling for baseline health).
  • People who believe “aging can bring wisdom, vitality, and growth” exercise more, follow medical advice, and live 7.5 years longer on average.
  • The mechanism is practical (behavioral choices), not magical positive thinking.

The Two Stress Mindsets

  1. Stress-is-harmful mindset (the dominant cultural view)
    • Stress is a toxic enemy to be avoided, reduced, or medicated away.
    • Feeling stressed → signal to escape, distract, or complain.
    • Result: lower confidence, fewer resources built, worse health and performance outcomes.
  2. Stress-is-enhancing mindset (the mindset the book wants to cultivate)
    • Stress is a sign that something you care about is at stake — it is evidence of meaning.
    • Stress can energize you, focus you, motivate learning, deepen connections, and spur courage.
    • Result: people face challenges head-on, grow resilience, perform better, and experience better health outcomes.

Evidence That Stress Mindsets Matter

  • Most Americans now believe even moderate stress is unhealthy (a shift since 2007).
  • Yet 51% of Stanford-trained executives in McGonigal’s 2013 survey said they do their best work under significant stress.
  • Experiments that shift people’s stress mindset (even briefly) change physiology (e.g., cardiovascular profiles shift from “threat” to “challenge” response) and behavior.

Why Mindset Change Can Be Sticky and Effortless

McGonigal argues ... can happen with stress: once the seed of “stress can be helpful” takes root, it grows without constant conscious effort.

The First Practical Step: Escape “Mindset Blindness”

Most of us suffer from mindset blindnesswe don’t realize we have a stress-is-harmful filter; it just feels like “objective truth.” The antidote is mindset mindfulness:

  • Start noticing your automatic thoughts and words about stress (“This is too much!”, “I can’t handle this”, “I need to calm down”).
  • Observe how those thoughts make you feel and act.
  • Notice stress mindsets all around you (media, ads, conversations) that reinforce the “stress = bad” narrative.

Reframing Stress Itself

McGonigal offers a new definition that runs throughout the book:

“Stress is what arises when something you care about is at stake.”

This single sentence flips the script:

  • Stress is not random punishment or proof that life is broken.
  • Stress and meaning are inseparable — a life with zero stress would be a life with nothing that matters.

Tone and Promise of the Book

The book is not naïve cheerleading (“Stress is always awesome!”). It fully acknowledges suffering, anxiety, trauma, and real harm that stress can do. Instead, it is a practical, evidence-based guide to getting better at stress — learning to see and harness the hidden upsides so that stress serves you rather than defeats you.

In short, Chapter 1 convinces the reader that changing your mind about stress is a high-leverage thing you can do for your health and life — and that the journey starts with simply noticing the mindset you already have.

Scott Adams:

Reading a Scott Adams book from cover to cover could be a good idea.

Good Activities:

What are the characteristics of activities you want to return to?

Good Blogs:

What are the characteristics of a blog that people want to return to?

Dienstag, 2. Dezember 2025

Romantik / Romance:

Neben physischer Anziehung das Gefühl, dass es mit diesem Menschen "doch um etwas geht".

Und also eine "Spannung", die eben der Kontakt zu dieser Person stets wieder auf's Neue hervorbringt.

Romantik oder Spannung im Sinne des Erlebens einer bedeutsamen Zeit.

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Besides physical attraction, the sense that being with this person “is actually about something” — that it means something.

And thus a kind of “tension” or charge that contact with this person keeps generating again and again.

Romance or tension in the sense of experiencing time as something meaningful.

HBD Blogs:

https://boredreading.com/top-blogs/hbd/

Deliberate Creativity:

"deliberate, conscious slippage is most often quite uninspired and infertile. 'How to Think' and 'How to Be Creative' books - even very thoughtful ones such as George Polya's How to Solve It - are, for that reason, of little use to the would be genius."

Douglas R. Hofstadter

Fake World:

Peter Frost:

"They are living in a fake world where people are interchangeable units of production and consumption in a global marketplace."

The Upside of Stress - Beyond Flight-or-Fight - Chapter 2:

"Although the purpose of these changes is to help you, the stress response—like stress in general—is more feared than appreciated. Most people view the stress response as a toxic state to be minimized, but the reality is not so bleak. In many ways, the stress response is your best ally during difficult moments—a resource to rely on rather than an enemy to vanquish."

"The study of accident survivors at the Akron trauma center was just the first of several showing that a stronger physical stress response predicts better long-term recovery from a traumatic event. In fact, one of the most promising new therapies to prevent or treat PTSD is administering doses of stress hormones. For example, a case report in the American Journal of Psychiatry describes how stress hormones reversed post-traumatic stress disorder in a fifty-year-old man who had survived a terrorist attack five years earlier. After taking ten milligrams of cortisol a day for three months, his PTSD symptoms decreased to the point that he no longer became extremely distressed when he thought about the attack. Physicians have also begun to administer stress hormones to patients about to undergo traumatic surgery. Among high-risk cardiac surgery patients, this approach has been shown to reduce the time in intensive care, minimize traumatic stress symptoms, and improve quality of life six months after surgery. Stress hormones have even become a supplement to traditional psychotherapy. Taking a dose of stress hormones right before a therapy session can improve the effectiveness of treatment for anxiety and phobias."

"If these findings surprise you, you aren’t alone. Most people believe that the body’s stress response is uniformly harmful. Stress hormones are seen as toxins to be eliminated, not as potential therapies to be explored. From the conventional point of view, your body betrays you every time your hands get clammy, your heart races, or your stomach twists into knots. To protect your health and happiness, the thinking goes, your number one priority should be to shut down the stress response."

"Selye found that he could create the same symptoms by subjecting rats to any uncomfortable experience: exposing them to extreme heat or cold, forcing them to exercise without rest, blasting them with noise, giving them toxic drugs, even partially severing their spinal cords. Within forty-eight hours, the rats lost muscle tone, developed digestive ulcers, and entered immune system failure."

"This is how the science of stress was born. Selye chose the word stress to describe both what he was doing to the rats (nowadays, we’d say he was stressing them out) and how their bodies reacted (what we call the stress response)."

"They were diagnosed with one disease but had other symptoms—loss of appetite, fever, fatigue—that weren’t specific to that condition. They seemed worn-out and run-down. At the time, Selye called it “sick syndrome.”"

"And with this leap in logic, Selye made one more decision that forever changed how the world thought about stress. He chose to define stress in a way that went far beyond his laboratory methods with rats. Stress, he claimed, was the response of the body to any demand made on it. It wasn’t just a response to noxious injections, traumatic injuries, or brutal laboratory conditions, but to anything that requires action or adaptation. By defining stress in this way, Selye set the stage for our modern terror about stress."

"But what Selye really gave the world was the belief that stress is toxic. If you tell a coworker, “This project is giving me an ulcer,” or complain to your spouse, “This stress is killing me,” it’s Selye’s rats you’re paying tribute to."

"Was Selye wrong? Not exactly. If you’re the human equivalent of Selye’s rats—deprived, tortured, or abused—then, yes, your body will pay a price. There is ample scientific evidence that severe or traumatic stress can harm your health. However, Selye defined stress so broadly that it includes not just trauma, violence, and abuse, but also just about everything that happens to you. To Selye, stress was synonymous with the body’s response to life. If this is your definition of the word, and you think that the inevitable consequence of stress is to end up like Selye’s rats, then of course you’ll be worried."

"To this day, much of what you hear about stress’s harmful effects comes from studies of lab rats. But the stress those rats suffer is not everyday human stress."

"He told us how he induced stress in his lab mice. First, he selects mice bred to be smaller than the typical mouse. Then he puts a small mouse in a cage with a much bigger mouse bred for aggression. He lets the alpha mouse attack the smaller mouse for twenty minutes, then rescues it. The smaller, injured mouse is separated from the alpha mouse but housed in a new cage where it can smell and see the alpha mouse that attacked it. The physical danger is lifted, but the psychological terror persists. This procedure doesn’t happen just once, but every day. For weeks, the smaller mouse is taken out of its cage and put back in the cage with the aggressive mouse for a daily dose of bullying. When the scientist considers the mouse sufficiently stressed, he looks at how the experience affected its behavior. (Remarkably, many of the abused mice show total resilience to the experience, although some develop what looks like the mouse equivalent of depression.)"

"But when headlines declare, “Science Proves Stress Makes You Depressed,” the stories rarely consider whether the methods used to stress out lab animals are equivalent to what most people mean when they complain, “I’m so stressed.” For some perspective, consider that in a major 2014 survey in the United States, the most commonly named source of daily stress among people who claimed to be highly stressed was “juggling schedules of family members.” The runner-up was “hearing about what politicians are doing.”

More often, the word stress is used to gloss over the study details, with no distinction between the effects of abuse and trauma and the effects of daily hassles. This results in a lot of unnecessary stress about stress. "

"Let’s be clear: A stress response that supported only two survival strategies—throw a punch or run like hell—would truly be a mismatch for modern life. But the full picture of the human stress response turns out to be much more complex. Fleeing and fighting are not the only strategies your body supports. As with humans themselves, the stress response has evolved, adapting over time to better fit the world we live in now. It can activate multiple biological systems, each supporting a different coping strategy. Your stress response won’t just help you get out of a burning building; it will also help you engage with challenges, connect with social support, and learn from experience."

"You might expect the stressed-out men to be more aggressive or selfish, but the opposite was true. Men who had just gone through a stressful experience were 50 percent more likely to extend trust to a stranger and risk their full share of the winnings. They were also 50 percent more likely to be trustworthy, splitting the winnings with the stranger instead of keeping the money for themselves. The rate of trust and trustworthiness in a control group of men who hadn’t been stressed was quite similar to that of contestants on Golden Balls—around 50 percent. In contrast, the men who were stressed-out showed unusually high rates of trust and trustworthiness—around 75 percent. Stress made the men prosocial.

Throughout the study, researchers tracked the men’s physical stress responses. Men who had the strongest cardiovascular reactivity to stress were also the most likely to trust and be trustworthy in the game that followed. In other words, the stronger their hearts’ response to stress, the more altruistic they became.

This finding shocks a lot of people. I’ve had students raise their hands to argue that the study’s findings are impossible. If you believe that stress always produces a fight-or-flight response, these men’s behavior makes no sense. They should be operating from a dog-eat-dog, competitive mentality, ready to take the money of any suckers who make the mistake of trusting them."

"There are several prototypical stress responses, each with a different biological profile that motivates various strategies for dealing with stress. For example, a challenge response increases self-confidence, motivates action, and helps you learn from experience; while a tend-and-befriend response increases courage, motivates caregiving, and strengthens your social relationships. Alongside the familiar fight-or-flight response, these make up your stress response repertoire. To understand how stress can trigger these very different states, let’s take a closer look at the biology of stress."

"Stress Gives You Energy to Help You Rise to the Challenge

As Walter Cannon observed, a fight-or-flight stress response starts when your sympathetic nervous system kicks in. To make you more alert and ready to act, the sympathetic nervous system directs your whole body to mobilize energy. Your liver dumps fat and sugar into your bloodstream for fuel. Your breathing deepens so that more oxygen is delivered to your heart. And your heart rate speeds up to deliver the oxygen, fat, and sugar to your muscles and brain. Stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol help your muscles and brain take in and use that energy more efficiently. In all these ways, your stress response gets you ready to face whatever challenges lie in front of you."

"Many people have this kind of experience during stress: They don’t know how they find the strength or courage to act. But when it matters most, their bodies give them the energy and will to do what’s necessary."

"You also get a motivation boost from a chemical cocktail of endorphins, adrenaline, testosterone, and dopamine. This side of the stress response is one reason some people enjoy stress—it provides a bit of a rush. Together, these chemicals increase your sense of confidence and power. They make you more willing to pursue your goals and to approach whatever is triggering the flood of feel-good chemicals. Some scientists call this the “excite and delight” side of stress. It’s been observed both in skydivers falling out of planes and people falling in love. If you get a thrill out of watching a close game or rushing to meet a deadline, you know this side of stress."

"When your survival is on the line, these biological changes come on strong, and you may find yourself having a classic fight-or-flight response. But when the stressful situation is less threatening, the brain and body shift into a different state: the challenge response. Like a fight-or-flight response, a challenge response gives you energy and helps you perform under pressure. Your heart rate still rises, your adrenaline spikes, your muscles and brain get more fuel, and the feel-good chemicals surge. But it differs from a fight-or-flight response in a few important ways: You feel focused but not fearful. You also release a different ratio of stress hormones, including higher levels of DHEA, which helps you recover and learn from stress. This raises the growth index of your stress response, the beneficial ratio of stress hormones that can determine, in part, whether a stressful experience is strengthening or harmful.

People who report being in a flow state—a highly enjoyable state of being completely absorbed in what you are doing—display clear signs of a challenge response. Artists, athletes, surgeons, video gamers, and musicians all show this kind of stress response when they’re engaged in their craft or skill. Contrary to what many people expect, top performers in these fields aren’t physiologically calm under pressure; rather, they have strong challenge responses. The stress response gives them access to their mental and physical resources, and the result is increased confidence, enhanced concentration, and peak performance."

"Stress Makes You Social to Encourage Connection

Your stress response doesn’t just give you energy. In many circumstances, it also motivates you to connect with others. This side of stress is primarily driven by the hormone oxytocin. Oxytocin has gotten a lot of hype as the “love molecule” and the “cuddle hormone” because it’s released from your pituitary gland when you hug someone. But oxytocin is a much more complex neurohormone that fine-tunes your brain’s social instincts. Its primary function is to build and strengthen social bonds, which is why it’s released during those hugs, as well as sex and breastfeeding. Elevated levels of oxytocin make you want to connect with others. It creates a craving for social contact, be it through touch, a text message, or a shared beer. Oxytocin also makes your brain better able to notice and understand what other people are thinking and feeling. It enhances your empathy and your intuition. When your oxytocin levels are high, you’re more likely to trust and help the people you care about. By making the brain’s reward centers more responsive to social connection, oxytocin even amplifies the warm glow you get from caring for others."

"But oxytocin is as much a part of your stress response as the adrenaline that makes your heart pound. During stress, your pituitary gland releases oxytocin to motivate social connection. That means stress can help you be this “better” version of yourself ..."

"Unlike the fight-or-flight response, which is primarily about self-survival, the tend-and-befriend response motivates you to protect the people and communities you care about. And, importantly, it gives you the courage to do so."

"Your stress response has a built-in mechanism for resilience—one that motivates you to care for others while also strengthening your physical heart."

"The stress recovery process isn’t instantaneous. For several hours after you have a strong stress response, the brain is rewiring itself to remember and learn from the experience. During this time, stress hormones increase activity in brain regions that support learning and memory. As your brain tries to process your experience, you may find yourself unable to stop thinking about what happened. You might feel an impulse to talk with someone about it, or to pray about it. If things went well, you might replay the experience in your mind, remembering everything you did and how it worked out. If things went poorly, you might try to understand what happened, imagine what you could have done differently, and play out other possible outcomes."

"Emotions often run high during the recovery process. You may find yourself too energized or agitated to calm down. It’s not uncommon to feel fear, shock, anger, guilt, or sadness as you recover from a stressful experience. You may also feel relief, joy, or gratitude. These emotions often coexist during the recovery period and are part of how the brain makes sense of the experience. They encourage you to reflect on what happened and to extract lessons to help you deal with future stress. They also make the experience more memorable. The neurochemistry of these emotions render the brain more plastic—a term used to describe how capable the brain is of remodeling itself based on experience. In this way, the emotions that follow stress help you learn from experience and create meaning."

"This is all part of how past stress teaches the brain and body how to handle future stress. Stress leaves an imprint on your brain that prepares you to deal with similar stress the next time you encounter it. Not every minor irritation will trigger this process, but when you go through a seriously challenging experience, your body and brain learn from it. Psychologists call this stress inoculation. It’s like a stress vaccine for your brain. That’s why putting people through practice stress is a key training technique for NASA astronauts, emergency responders, elite athletes, and others who have to thrive in highly stressful environments. Stress inoculation has been used to prepare children for emergency evacuations, train employees to deal with hostile work environments, and even help coach those with autism for stressful social interactions. It can also explain the findings of scientists like Stanford’s Karen Parker, who has shown how early life stress can lead to later resilience.

Once you appreciate that going through stress makes you better at it, you may find it easier to face each new challenge. In fact, research shows that expecting to learn from a stressful experience can shift your physical stress response to support stress inoculation. As we saw in Alia Crum’s study, viewing a video on stress’s enhancing qualities increased participants’ DHEA levels during and after a mock job interview. Other studies show that viewing a stressful situation as an opportunity to improve your skills, knowledge, or strengths makes it more likely that you will have a challenge response instead of a fight-or-flight response. This, in turn, increases the chance that you will learn from the experience."

Rise to the Challenge:

- Focuses your attention

- Heightens your senses

- Increases motivation

- Mobilizes energy


Connect with Others:

- Activates prosocial instincts

- Encourages social connection

- Enhances social cognition

- Dampens fear and increases courage


Learn and Grow:

- Restores nervous system balance

- Processes and integrates the experience

- Helps the brain learn and grow

"The stress response system is adaptive, constantly trying to figure out how to best handle whatever challenges you face."

"Your brain and body continue to reshape themselves to help you face the most important challenges in your life."

"If you want to respond to stress differently—to face challenges confidently, to stand up for yourself, to seek social support instead of withdrawing, to find meaning in your suffering—there is no better way to change your habits than to practice this new response during stress. Every moment of stress is an opportunity to transform your stress instincts."

"Rushing to get your kids ready for school, dealing with a difficult coworker, thinking about criticism you received, worrying about a friend’s health—we have stress responses to all these things because we get stressed when something important to us is at stake. And most important, we have stress responses to help us do something about it.

We get stressed when our goals are on the line, so we take action. We get stressed when our values are threatened, so we defend them. We get stressed when we need courage. We get stressed so we can connect with others. We get stressed so that we will learn from our mistakes.

The stress response is more than a basic survival instinct. It is built into how humans operate, how we relate to one another, and how we navigate our place in the world. When you understand this, the stress response is no longer something to be feared. It is something to be appreciated, harnessed, and even trusted."

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Claude:

"This chapter fundamentally reframes the stress response from threat to resource. McGonigal challenges the legacy of Hans Selye, whose rat experiments established our modern view of stress as toxic, arguing that his brutal laboratory conditions don't reflect everyday human experience.

The core insight: your stress response is adaptive and multifaceted, not just fight-or-flight. It activates three distinct strategies depending on context:

Challenge response - increases confidence and focus, releases optimal hormone ratios (including DHEA for growth), powers peak performance in flow states

Tend-and-befriend response - driven by oxytocin, motivates social connection and caregiving, enhances empathy, literally strengthens your physical heart

Traditional survival response - still available when truly needed, but not the default for modern stressors

The evidence is striking: stress hormones are now used therapeutically for PTSD, administered before surgery to improve outcomes, and enhance psychotherapy effectiveness. Men under stress showed 50% higher trust and generosity, with stronger cardiovascular responses predicting more prosocial behavior.

McGonigal introduces "stress inoculation" - each stressful experience rewires your brain to handle similar situations better. The recovery period's emotions and rumination aren't dysfunction but learning mechanisms. This is why practice stress trains astronauts and athletes.

The reframe matters: when you view stress as enhancing rather than debilitating, your body responds accordingly - different hormone ratios, better outcomes. Stress happens because something you care about is at stake, and the response exists to help you address it."

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grok:

"Chapter 2 is the foundational pivot of the book: McGonigal systematically dismantles the dominant cultural belief that the stress response is inherently toxic and shows instead that it is an adaptive, multifaceted biological system designed to help us rise to challenges, connect with others, and grow stronger.

Core Argument

The widespread view that “stress is always bad” originated largely from Hans Selye’s mid-20th-century rat experiments, in which extreme, inescapable torment (poisoning, spinal-cord severance, forced exhaustive exercise, etc.) produced ulcers, immune collapse, and death. Selye then made a fateful leap: he defined stress as the body’s response to any demand whatsoever, and implied that this response itself was pathological. Modern media and many researchers still cite animal studies that use outright abuse or chronic defeat (e.g., small mice bullied daily by aggressive larger mice) and then generalize those results to ordinary human stress—traffic jams, deadlines, or juggling family schedules. This conflation creates unnecessary “stress about stress.”

In reality, the human stress response is far more sophisticated than fight-or-flight. It is a flexible repertoire of biological states that evolved to match the actual demands of human life.

The Three Main Positive Stress Responses

  1. Challenge Response (“Rise to the Challenge”)
    • Energizes you for performance rather than pure survival.
    • Heart rate and adrenaline rise, but you feel focused and confident, not fearful.
    • Releases higher levels of DHEA (along with cortisol), which promotes recovery and learning.
    • Seen in athletes, surgeons, musicians, and anyone in a flow state.
    • Gives you the physiological resources—energy, motivation, sharpened cognition—to perform at your peak under pressure.
  2. Tend-and-Befriend Response (“Stress Makes You Social”)
    • Driven by oxytocin (released in large amounts during stress, not just during hugging).
    • Makes you crave connection, enhances empathy, intuition, trust, and courage.
    • Counteracts fear and motivates caregiving and cooperation.
    • Study example: Men who underwent an acute lab stressor became 50% more trusting and trustworthy in a subsequent economic game; the stronger their cardiovascular stress response, the more prosocial they behaved.
  3. Learning & Growth Response (“Stress Inoculation”)
    • After the stressor ends, stress hormones keep the brain in a heightened learning state for hours.
    • Emotions (even negative ones) make the experience more memorable and drive meaning-making.
    • Literally rewires neural circuits so you handle similar stressors better next time (the biological basis of resilience training used by astronauts, first responders, etc.).
    • A stronger initial stress response often predicts better long-term outcomes after trauma (e.g., higher cortisol during/after a traumatic event is linked to lower PTSD risk; some hospitals now give cortisol prophylactically before high-risk surgery).

Evidence That Flips Conventional Wisdom

  • Trauma survivors with stronger acute stress responses recover better.
  • Cortisol therapy can reverse chronic PTSD and reduce post-surgical traumatic stress.
  • Viewing stress as enhancing (mindset intervention) shifts physiology toward the beneficial challenge response and higher DHEA.

Key Takeaway

We don’t get stressed because we’re weak; we get stressed because something we care about is at stake—and our body mobilizes to help us act on it. The stress response isn’t a betrayal of the body; it’s an ally that provides energy, courage, social connection, and the capacity to learn. Once you see it this way, stress stops being an enemy to eliminate and becomes a resource you can trust and harness.

The chapter ends with a powerful reframing:

We get stressed when our goals are on the line, so we take action… when we need courage… so we can connect with others… so that we will learn from our mistakes. The stress response is more than a basic survival instinct. It is built into how humans operate, how we relate to one another, and how we become resilient.”

In short, Chapter 2 transforms stress from public health enemy #1 into one of evolution’s greatest giftsprovided we stop treating it like poison."

Edutainment:


People think watching “edutainment” = learning. It’s not. Edutainment gives you the feeling of learning. Real learning is WORK — hard, repetitive, uncomfortable work.

The Suicide Spectrum:

Hickman: Many seem not to realize that risk aversion is only a softer, gentler, more socially-acceptable expression of a basically suicidal impulse. The "suicide spectrum" is like this: 1. Aversion to risk / Disspiritedness 2. Cynicism / dsigruntlement 3. Aversion to having kids (optional but very common) 4. "Failure to launch," few friends, no ambitions, "stuck" but still functional 5. "What's the point?" / apathy / no actionable life interests of any kind, hikikomori-mode 6. Diagnosable depression and anxiety 7. Masking depression with substance abuse (optional) 8. Suicidal ideation, mental illness serious enough to result in total inability to function even in the easiest environments 9. Actual suicide attempts 10. Successful suicide attempt 11. (Second-order effect) Demographic collapse All eleven of these points are made of the same "stuff," and the first time a fellow feels a lasting nadir in his enthusiasm for life -- he is already well along the path. The logical conclusion of losing one's "lust for life" is death. Interestingly, one's personality type will probably determine whether they linger on one of these steps or whether they go All the Way to step #10. A lot of people stuck in steps 2-6 are so risk averse that they get stuck in a kind of "recursive neurotic loop." Such people are harrowed by the basically heroic action required for both drug abuse and real suicide, and so they just linger in the vestibule between life and death indefinitely. I suspect a LARGE proportion of young people are now doing exactly this. Those who head on to steps 7-10 are usually the types who detest "fakeness," and crave "the truth." But, their conception of what's real and true having been warped by the seed of dispiritedness, the only satisfying "truth" they can find is in death -- unless they have a sudden flash of zeal for life, fall in love, have a Nietzschean epiphany, or even have a legitimate mystical or near-death experience. Any strata of the present-day American culture that will enjoy long-term success will manage to consistently produce, promote, and maintain a mentality that is "happy-go-lucky," "try-it-out-and-see," deeply enthusiastic and risk-tolerant in every domain. Or, in other words, it'd be a culture that is CONSISTENTLY "high openness" -- and by that I mean, not only open to new ideas, risks, and adventures but also open to LIFE and therefore, procreation. This is how Americans very famously used to be, and now no longer are. Something about the techno-bureaucracy we've created has had a widespread "suicide spectrum" effect, and if you want to save America, or the West, or whatever -- you must find a way to counteract it. Notably, the method of counteraction must not ultimately consist of a recursive "loop" back into the suicide spectrum (this is why the politics of disgruntlement always smacks of death). Quite literally, it's "high-openness, happy-go-lucky or DEATH." That's it. Engage in risk-averse, apathetic, or disgruntled behavior at your own peril, and promote it only at the total peril of the society you are a part of.

Montag, 1. Dezember 2025

Long Review "Rapt" by Winifred Gallagher:

I am quite interested in psychological topics, but at the same time I do not have a systematic understanding of psychology. My engagement with the field has been more exploratory than structured — much like this blog, where I have been skimming the surface for almost 15 years. I believe that writing book reviews is one of the best strategies for acquiring deeper knowledge in topics that truly interest me. Everyday experience, as well as this book, clearly shows that attention is one of the central topics in psychology, and that it is closely connected to many other aspects of life: relationships, health, and productivity.

More than anything else, this book demonstrates the many facets of attention and how strongly it is interwoven with nearly every dimension of life, both big and small. It argues that one can actively shape one’s life by managing one's attention.
As a quote memorably puts it:

Attention is to the inner life what action is to the outer life.

In the first chapter, the distinction between reactive bottom-up attention and voluntary top-down attention is introduced. In the second chapter, the book explains how positive and negative emotions influence attention, and how attention in turn influences emotional states. It explores the relationship between attention and personality traits such as extraversion and introversion, and examines how attention is connected to executive control. Another question the book addresses is whether attention can be trained — for example through meditation. Deliberate practice is treated in a later chapter, emphasizing the importance of choosing challenges that are neither too easy nor overwhelming.

A life that contains friction and demand is portrayed as more meaningful than one optimized only for comfort and relaxation. Challenge deepens life. It stretches ability. The active search for difficulty often leads to optimal experiences and fosters development of skills and character. The book also invites the reader to rediscover things that have become too familiar to notice — and to approach everyday life with renewed awareness instead of drifting into autopilot.

The book also discusses:

  • digital distractions and modern media,

  • disorders of attention such as ADHD,

  • and the psychological shift from reactive living toward deliberate self-creation.

Three Personal Takeaways

If one wants to train the power of attention, I see three main paths:

1. Choose a Profession That Challenges You (or Professional Responsibilities That Challenge You)

A profession that demands real effort and is not too easy can lead to the development of one’s abilities. Over time, this contributes to a deeper, more meaningful life.

2. Founding a Family Can Sharpen Focus

Starting a family often leads to a radical change in attention and priorities. Many people report becoming more focused, efficient, and emotionally grounded after having children. Parenthood forces attention into reality and responsibility in a way few other experiences do.

3. Commit to Serial Projects

Dedicating oneself to longer-term projects leads to far deeper engagement with topics. A “scatterbrain lifestyle” may be entertaining, but it rarely leads to depth. I myself recently slipped back into scattered consumption for weeks.

These are the three core personal lessons I took away from this book.

At the same time, Rapt emphasizes a broader mindset shift:
We should learn to see effort and sustained tension not as flaws of life, but as signs of a life that is truly being lived.

This naturally leads me to my next possible book project.

I am currently considering reading and reviewing The Upside of Stress by Kelly McGonigal. The book argues for a revaluation of stress — not as an enemy, but as a positive source. Many of the most valuable things in life arise precisely from demand, pressure, and stretching one’s limits.

In addition to The Upside of Stress, I am considering two other books as potential candidates for future reviews. I will add them as alternatives here once I settle on a choice.

Shallowness:

Years spent at the surface. Why? And for what purpose?

Die Wildheit der Dichtung:

"Soviel ist auch mir bei meinen wenigen Erfahrungen klar geworden, dass man den Leuten, im Ganzen genommen, durch die Poesie nicht wohl, hingegen recht übel machen kann, und mir deucht, wo das eine nicht zu erreichen ist, da muss man das andere einschlagen. Man muss sie inkommodieren, ihnen ihre Behaglichkeit verderben, sie in Unruhe und in Erstaunen setzen. Eins von beiden, entweder als ein Genius oder als ein Gespenst muss die Poesie ihnen gegenüberstehen."

Friedrich Schiller

-> Die Kunst, Anspannung und Aufregung in das Leben der Menschen zu bringen.

Functional and Dysfunctional Forms of Impulsivity:

"Dickman (1990) proposed the existence of both “functional” and “dysfunctional” forms of impulsivity, suggesting that impulsivity may be beneficial in some circumstances. The scale he devised to measure functional impulsivity assesses comfort with acting, talking, and making decisions quickly, with little or no deliberation, when the situation calls for it, such as in fast-paced conversation or sport, or in the presence of fleeting opportunity. Block (2002) has similarly argued that some degree of “undercontrol” is not detrimental because it allows spontaneous exploration and utilization of unforeseen opportunities. Although impulsivity has typically been considered only as a dysfunctional tendency, the possibility of an adaptive form or level of impulsivity is worth keeping in mind when examining the association of impulsivity with other personality traits."

Personality and Self-Regulation, Colin DeYoung

Commitment:

Randolph M. Nesse:

"In a world without commitments social exchanges arise mainly from helping relatives and trading favors. In such a world individuals can reliably be expected to act straightforwardly in their own interests. The advent of commitment changes everything. As soon as one individual finds a way to convince another that he or she will act other than in simple self-interest, social life is transformed. Now, individuals must consider the possibility that others may fulfill promises and threats."

Only those people who can fulfill both promises and threats are trustworthy allies.

You can tell when someone is truly committed to a course of action. He is decisive and serious. He continues on his chosen path even when it demands effort, discomfort, or sacrifice.

Blogs:

A blog that adds real value to a reader’s life is one he will gladly return to.

So when readers don’t come back, it’s usually because the blog 
hasn’t yet given them a reason to.

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"If you want to know what truly adds value to a person’s life, look at the activities they willingly return to."

"If you want to understand what adds value to someone’s life, pay attention to what they choose to come back to again and again."

"What adds value to a person’s life is revealed by what they return to without being pushed."

"People vote for what matters with their time. What they return to is what they value."

"Value is not what people claim to cherish, but what they repeatedly choose to spend their time on."

Drawing Inferences:

If a person is repeatedly exposed to the co-occurrence of a specific value of feature A and a specific value of feature B in the same object, he may infer that the two features are related. Consequently, when the person later observes a particular value of feature A and knows about this relationship, he can draw inferences about the likely value of feature B.

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Human cognition is organized around the detection of co-occurrence: what repeatedly appears together is treated as related. The mind does not passively register isolated facts but continuously scans experience for patterns of joint occurrence ... 

Ambivalenzen / Ambivalence:

Wikipedia:

"Ambivalenz (lateinisch ambo „beide“ und valere „gelten“) bezeichnet einen inneren Zustand, der wesentlich geprägt ist von einem inneren Konflikt. Dabei bestehen in einer Person sich widersprechende Wünsche, Gefühle und Gedanken gleichzeitig nebeneinander und führen zu inneren Spannungen.

In der Allgemeinsprache gebräuchlicher ist das Adjektiv ambivalent (zwiespältig, doppelwertig, mehrdeutig, vielfältig, zweideutig). Eugen Bleuler verwendete den Begriff erstmals 1910 während eines Vortrags. Für ihn war Ambivalenz ein Hauptmerkmal der Schizophrenie. Im heutigen Sprachgebrauch, auch im klinischen Bereich, versteht man unter „Ambivalenz“ aber kein Symptom einer Krankheit, sondern das Erleben einer konflikthaften, von gegensätzlichen Aspekten geprägten Bewertung der Situation oder eines Objekts. Dieses Erleben basiert auf der erworbenen Fähigkeit, auf Abwehr durch Spaltung zu verzichten und gegensätzliche Erlebniszustände zu ertragen. Die Fähigkeit, Ambivalenz auszuhalten, spricht für eine gesteigerte emotionale Reife.

Bedeutung

Bei der Ambivalenz handelt es sich um das simultane Bestehen sich eigentlich ausschließender Einstellungen und Handlungstendenzen. Der Begriff „Hassliebe“ ist ein Beispiel für eine solche Verknüpfung gegensätzlicher Wertungen. Auch in der Physiologie sind antagonistische Funktionen bekannt. Die Ambivalenz betrifft psychologische Funktionen.

Dass jedes Ding zwei Seiten haben kann, ist keine Ambivalenz, solange dadurch kein innerer Konflikt hervorgerufen wird. Ambivalenz ist eine Dichotomie von Sichtweisen, die gegensätzliche Reaktionen bedingen und letztlich die Fähigkeit zu einer Entscheidung hemmen können."

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"Ambivalence is a state of having simultaneous conflicting reactions, beliefs, or feelings towards some object. Stated another way, ambivalence is the experience of having an attitude towards someone or something that contains both positively and negatively valenced components. The term also refers to situations where "mixed feelings" of a more general sort are experienced, or where a person experiences uncertainty or indecisiveness.

Although attitudes tend to guide attitude-relevant behavior, those held with ambivalence tend to do so to a lesser extent. The less certain an individual is in their attitude, the more impressionable it becomes, hence making future actions less predictable and/or less decisive. Ambivalent attitudes are also more susceptible to transient information (e.g., mood), which can result in a more malleable evaluation. However, since ambivalent people think more about attitude-relevant information, they also tend to be more persuaded by (compelling) attitude-relevant information than less-ambivalent people. Explicit ambivalence may or may not be experienced as psychologically unpleasant when the positive and negative aspects of a subject are both present in a person's mind at the same time.  Psychologically uncomfortable ambivalence, also known as cognitive dissonance, can lead to avoidance, procrastination, or to deliberate attempts to resolve the ambivalence. People experience the greatest discomfort from their ambivalence at the time when the situation requires a decision to be made. People are aware of their ambivalence to varying degrees, so the effects of an ambivalent state vary across individuals and situations. For this reason, researchers have considered two forms of ambivalence, only one of which is subjectively experienced as a state of conflict.


Felt ambivalence

The psychological literature has distinguished between several different forms of ambivalence. One, often called subjective ambivalence or felt ambivalence, represents the psychological experience of conflict (affective manifestation), mixed feelings, mixed reactions (cognitive manifestation), and indecision (behavioral manifestation) in the evaluation of some object.  Ambivalence is not always acknowledged by the individual experiencing it. Although, when the individual becomes aware to a varying degree, discomfort is felt, which is elicited by the conflicting attitudes about a particular stimulus.

Subjective ambivalence is generally assessed using direct self-report measures regarding one's experience of conflict about the topic of interestBecause subjective ambivalence is a secondary judgment of a primary evaluation (i.e., I'm conflicted of my positive attitude towards the president), it is considered to be metacognitive. The point of these measures is to find out how much a person experiences ambivalence in a particular evaluation. Their report may be provided in a number of ways. Priester and Petty,for example, utilized a rating system where they had subjects rate the level of conflict they were experiencing on a scale from 0 (as in the subject experienced "no conflict at all") to 10 (as in the subject experienced "maximum conflict"). However, people do not like to experience the negative emotions associated with ambivalence and therefore may not acknowledge, or report, their level of conflict as accurately as possible. This makes the measure of felt ambivalence a bit less reliable than a researcher may desire."