Getting the Ick:

Edward Dutton:

>This leads to an interesting phenomenon with females, known as the “Ick;” a visceral sense of disgust at something a male partner or potential male partner does which convinces the female, though subconsciously and often without her acknowledging it, that she does not want to become pregnant by him; that he is not Mr Right. A female may be in a long-term romantic relationship and then something about her boyfriend may very suddenly disgust her to such an extent that she loses all attraction for him and the relationship is effectively over. An article in British newspaper The Guardian on this subject highlighted the swiftness with which the “Ick” – a term which originated in the 1990s series Ally McBeal - can occur and the seemingly random nature of that which provokes it: observing that he does not use a pillow case, seeing him wearing a lime green shirt, hearing him giggle, finding a photo of him holding a massive fish he’s caught, or noticing that he owns a pencil case (Samadder, 31st July 2022). But is it sudden and is it random? We would expect females to be constantly monitoring the suitability of their male partner, especially in the courtship period prior to allowing him to impregnate her. A great deal of useful information would be absorbed at the unconscious level, such that she could think about other issues than just his suitability and, in essence, get on with her daily life. In addition, there is considerable empirical evidence that when we stop consciously thinking about a problem we continue dealing with it unconsciously, leading to a breakthrough; to intense “eureka moments” where the issue suddenly makes sense (see Staddon, 2016, Ch. 21). Further, it would be adaptive that her realisation of his unsuitability would come to her in the form of a “revelation” or “epiphany;” a particularly potent reaction which, due to its dramatic dimensions, would strongly emotionally impact her, forcing her to act upon it. These examples would ultimately all relate to concerns over his abilities, maturity, competence, mental stability and even his genetic health. Returning to the examples in The Guardian piece: Not using a pillow case? Lack of conscientiousness, laziness; nonchalant attitude towards hygiene. Wearing a lime green shirt? This may imply poor taste, a lack of social awareness and of how others might see him (and all that this might do to his status) or it might say something about how much he cares about others. Giggling, owning a pencil case? This may imply that he is emotionally immature. The fish picture? This might be seen to betoken a show off, and a clichéd one at that, with all that this says about his underlying psychology, in particular possible Neurotic traits or elements of Narcissism. To quote a woman interviewed in the article: “We were looking at a painting of a fat little Bacchanalian nymph baby. I realised it was the spitting image of him . . . We broke up shortly after, but I couldn’t tell him why.” She had noticed that he is childlike, feminine and unhealthy. From a female perspective, “getting the ick” is, clearly, highly adaptive. It ensures that you don’t get pregnant by a sub-optimal male.<