The Upside of Stress - Chapter 3 - Part 1/2:

"To the researchers’ surprise, the higher a nation’s stress index, the higher the nation’s well-being. The higher the percentage of people who said they had felt a great deal of stress the day before, the higher that nation’s life expectancy and GDP. A higher stress index also predicted higher national scores on measures of happiness and satisfaction with life. More people reporting stress meant more people satisfied with their health, work, standard of living, and community. The researchers also observed that people living in countries with high levels of corruption, poverty, hunger, or violence, such as Mauritania, didn’t always describe their days as stressful. Whatever people around the world meant when they said they felt stressed, it did not correspond perfectly to what the researchers considered objectively bad societal conditions."

"On a day when a person felt a great deal of stress, that person was also more likely to have felt angry, depressed, sad, or worried. But living in a country with a high stress index was also associated with reporting feeling more joy, love, and laughter the previous day. When it came to overall well-being, the happiest people in the poll weren’t the ones without stress. Instead, they were the people who were highly stressed but not depressed. These individuals were the most likely to view their lives as close to ideal."

"Even though most people view stress as harmful, higher levels of stress seem to go along with things we want: love, health, and satisfaction with our lives."

"It turns out that a meaningful life is also a stressful life."

“Taking all things together, I feel my life is meaningful.” That may seem like a tall order, asking people to reflect on the entirety of their lives to determine whether or not it has meaning. And yet, most people, with a quick gut check, know whether or not this feels true.”

“Surprisingly, stress ranked high. In fact, every measure of stress that the researchers asked about predicted a greater sense of meaning in life. People who had experienced the highest number of stressful life events in the past were most likely to consider their lives meaningful. People who said they were under a lot of stress right now also rated their lives as more meaningful. Even time spent worrying about the future was associated with meaning, as was time spent reflecting on past struggles and challenges. As the researchers conclude, “People with very meaningful lives worry more and have more stress than people with less meaningful lives.” Why are stress and meaning so strongly linked? One reason is that stress seems to be an inevitable consequence of engaging in roles and pursuing goals that feed our sense of purpose.”

“raising a child under eighteen significantly increases the chance that you will experience a great deal of stress every day—and that you will smile and laugh a lot each day.”

“Rather than being a sign that something is wrong with your life, feeling stressed can be a barometer for how engaged you are in activities and relationships that are personally meaningful. Research also shows that a less stressful life doesn’t make people nearly as happy as they think it will. Although most people predict they would be happier if they were less busy, the opposite turns out to be true. People are happier when they are busier, even when forced to take on more than they would choose.”

“stress is not always harmful for health and happiness—and … we should not fear leading stressful lives.”

“Stress may be a natural byproduct of pursuing difficult but important goals …”

“Take a few moments to list your most meaningful roles, relationships, activities, or goals. In what parts of your life are you most likely to experience joy, love, laughter, learning, or a sense of purpose? When you have listed a few, ask yourself this: Would you also describe any of them as sometimes or frequently stressful?

We often imagine how ideal it would be to get rid of the stress we experience at home, at work, and in pursuit of our goals. But that isn’t a realistic possibility. We don’t get to choose between a stress-full or a stress-free experience of family, work, community, love, learning, or health. If there is something in your life that is both meaningful and causing you a great deal of stress, take a few moments to write about why this role, relationship, activity, or goal is so important to you. You might also consider writing about what life would be like if you suddenly lost this source of meaning. How would you feel about the loss? Would you want it back in your life?”

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grok:

"The core finding of the research (drawn from large-scale global Gallup data) is counter-intuitive and robust: at the national level, the more people report experiencing a great deal of stress yesterday, the higher the country scores on almost every desirable outcome—longer life expectancy, higher GDP per capita, greater reported happiness, life satisfaction, satisfaction with health, work, standard of living, and community. Countries with objectively awful conditions (extreme poverty, hunger, corruption, violence) often have surprisingly low reported stress, suggesting that “stress” as ordinary people experience and label it is not simply a reaction to misery.

On the individual level, the pattern holds and gets even clearer:

• People who felt highly stressed on a given day were more likely to have also felt negative emotions (anger, sadness, worry), but in high-stress countries people simultaneously reported more positive emotions (joy, love, laughter).
• The happiest people were not the low-stress ones; they were the highly-stressed-but-not-depressed ones. These individuals rated their lives as closest to “ideal.”
• Every single measure of stress—recent stressful events, current stress load, time spent worrying, even reflecting on past struggles—strongly predicted a greater sense of meaning in life. The title of the researchers’ conclusion is blunt: “People with very meaningful lives worry more and have more stress than people with less meaningful lives.”

Why are meaning and stress are inseparable:

• Meaning arises from engagement in difficult, important goals and roles (parenting, meaningful work, deep relationships, learning, community contribution, etc.).
• These pursuits inevitably generate demands, uncertainty, responsibility, and therefore stress.
• Example given: having a child under 18 dramatically raises daily stress… and dramatically raises daily smiling and laughter.

The practical implication is a complete reversal of the usual cultural story about stress:

• Most people believe stress is purely toxic and that a good life would be mostly stress-free.
• The data show the opposite: a low-stress life tends to be a disengaged, less purposeful, and ultimately less satisfying life.
• People predict they would be happier if they were less busy, but when researchers force extra busyness on them, they end up happier (even though they don’t expect to be).

Final takeaway from the author: Stress is not a warning sign that something is wrong with your life; very often it is a barometer showing that you are deeply engaged with things that matter. Pursuing or protecting sources of meaning will always cost stress; eliminating the stress would require abandoning the meaning. The realistic choice is not “stress-free versus stressful,” but “meaningful (and therefore stressful) versus meaningless (and therefore low-stress).”

The closing reflective exercise invites readers to list their most meaningful roles and goals, notice that they are also their biggest sources of stress, and then imagine life without them—an exercise that usually clarifies that we would eagerly accept the stress back if it meant keeping the meaning."